Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
