I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
