I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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