I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Less talking, more tequila
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
