The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
