talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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