That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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