Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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