I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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