I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
