I heard we made out
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
