I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
