she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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