i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
