margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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