But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
whose parrot is this?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
