We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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