I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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