Sponge bath it is.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
