Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
