We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My pussy is not your playground.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
