spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Randomize
