i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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