Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
