WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
