the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
