Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
