I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Terrible idea I love it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
