she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
