whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
