just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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