I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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