Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
