sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
