Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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