You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No I am not eating basil off your cock
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
