if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
