fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
