haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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