i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
they call him Oral-B. enough said
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
