with your own penis?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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