so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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