Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
