Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
