what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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