i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
