I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
