I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
