your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
