Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
